#like im so desperate to enjoy this doctor like i did 9 and 10 and i just cant
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rapidhighway · 1 year ago
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hey i might be controversial but im not really feeling the 12th doctor so far
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cupoftaae · 2 years ago
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Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ it's so easy to love you, flaws and all (chapter 10)
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Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.
Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.
Pairing: taehyung x female!reader
rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)
wc- 5k
chapter warnings- swearing, anxiety mentions, possible pregnancy mentions, minor angst, theres no smut but references to it (flashbacks), drinking,
a/n- Hi guys! im back early with another chapter to make up for skipping a few weeks! i wanted to let you guys know that any time there is a long dialogue written in italic- it is a flashback !!
Enjoy guys, Love ya!!
-nini
-
You woke up at 8am to the sound of pans banging in the kitchen, immediately you smiled, knowing your mom had gotten up early to start baking.
A look over to your left would remind you taehyung fell asleep in your bedroom last night....you couldn't help but feel bad, he was so crammed up against the wall, and he definitely would be complaining of back pain later on.
You shifted slightly, allowing room to pull the covers back and plant your feet on the ground. You slept, but not for long.
You were still feeling a bit off after having an episode last night, but the startling realization that came soon after only further prevented you from getting the 8 hours of sleep you so desperately needed.
Your feet clashed against the cold tiles of your bathroom as you slowly shut the door and turned the light on. Your phone was still sitting on the counter near the sink, exactly where Taehyung had left in last night.
You brushed your teeth and contemplated whether you should quickly text them back to clear things up. You promised Taehyung no phone, but this situation was becoming much more serious.
Your eyes gazed to your reflection, sighing.
theres no way....right?
you've been late before, it wasn't some odd occurrence to your body. you grew up playing soccer, dancing and doing track, your teenage athletic self always had weird period dates
But then again, that was a while ago.
You felt guilty for many reasons, 1 being the fact that if you are what you think you are, how could you have been so careless with what you did?
You always used some form of contraception, you even planned to get an IUD implanted when you see your doctor in a few weeks, just so you didn't have any scares.
you also felt guilty for if you were pregnant...
You knew you couldn't be a mom, hell, you could barley take care of Yeontan or yourself.
You also knew Taehyung on the other hand, would absolutely love this, which breaks your heart.
"I don't know, I think it would be fun" taehyung said, reaching into the bowl to grab more popcorn
"It doesn't sound or look fun, taehyung, babies are menaces" You scoffed, looking at him
"oh well I dont think so....I know when I get older someday I think I'll have some...only one or two, depends on what my future spouse wants" he shrugged
"you do realize babies need attention and care, its not like a dog where you put the food in a bowl and leave it to fend for themselves..?" you joked, watching your friend contemplate parenthood at the ripe age of 20.
"Its fun to think about" he smiled softly, looking over at tannie who sat with his tail wagging. He sure was easy to care for, what more work is a human baby?
oh was he naive.
You washed your face and brushed your hair, trying to get out a knot from sleeping with a ponytail in, when taehyung awoke and began to knock on the door.
"baby..." he whispered, seeing the light on, "you in there?"
You smiled and walked over, unlocking the door and pulling him in happily.
"happy birthday!" he whisper yelled, immediately attacking you with kisses and pulling your smaller frame into a hug, "I love you!"
You giggled and kissed him back, hands wrapping over his shoulders, "thank you....I love you too, even if you slept in my bed last night" you smirked
"hey, you told me to!" he added, pulling away
"shh!" you put a hand over his mouth, his deep voice echoing through the room, "I was in a state of weakness, and I really hope my mom didn't see you in here"
He shrugged and moved to hug your from behind, both of you facing the mirror and looking at your reflection, it was sweet.
"so was I the first person to say it?"
you raised an eyebrow and and tilted your head as you applied moisturizer
"happy birthday, did I beat your mom to it?" he giggled, making you smile and nod, "yes, tae you did, you won"
"oh really? what do i win" he smirked and pushed you against him, his face finding the crook of your neck too easily.
"ah-" you tensed and pulled back, knowing if he continued you would have gave in right then in there. "nothing until we get back to Busan"
He frowned, trying to get you to change your mind, "baby."
"taehyung! we are not fucking in my mothers house, let alone my childhood bedroom!" you whispered loudly, making him explode in laughter.
"hey, I was just gonna ask for a massage, I didnt say anything about sex, but now that you mention-"
"no"
"damnit"
You smiled at his antics as he returned his head to your shoulder, humming softly, "you look better, you feeling good, too?"
You nodded, "yeah, I guess...still a bit iffy but mentally im better"
"good" he kissed your cheek and looked at your phone, taking it silently and sliding it into his pocket, making you frown.
-
As afraid to admit as you were, things were slightly coming together now....in a light you wish was dimmed.
When you came downstairs your mother surprised you with a huge birthday breakfast, something you expected hence the fact she does it every year- but what you had not expected was you trying to fight the urge to vomit all over the plate at the scent of the scrambled eggs.
You swore up and down to both your mother and tae that you were okay, just still feeling the effects from last nights situation, but the moment you were alone in your room for the first time since youve been here, you began to break.
"What if's" filling your head as you cried silently against the shut door, deep deep down you believed you would possibly laugh about this later on, like "oh remember how I was so dramatic and thought I was pregnant? what a funny time!"
"Y/N?" your mother called, knocking on the door, "we are leaving for lunch in 15, almost ready?"
you sighed, feeling bad for your bad mood against your mom who was just happy to have you in her presence. "yes, almost..."
She had thrown together a small reservation for the 3 of you at a local wine and dine restaurant, you were feeling a bit more hungry now and were grateful for that.
Putting on a black tank top and jeans, you curled your hair and put some makeup on, all while that silly little voice in your head kept nagging at you that something bad was happening.
You tried to calm yourself, even going as far as saying that even if you had gotten pregnant, you would figure out a way to deal when you got back to Busan...you just wanted to enjoy your vacation.
All of you had made it out the house on time, taehyung offering to drive to the place while you and your mother sat in the back seat. You gazed at every passing store, seeking out any type of pharmacy available. You wished you could use your phone map, but you know....
"you will love this place, My friend took me here after one of my doctor appointments last week, the food is to die for!" your mother patted your back on the way into the small yet lavish building, the spring flowers making your nose itch.
"oh thats nice, was it stacey who took you? or Linna?" you responded
She giggled softly as you waited in line to check in for your reservation, "no, actually he is a new worker, his name is Ji-Tae"
Your eyes widened, turning to taehyung behind you, who was making a smug face, mouthing the word "he?"
You pouted, "I see..."
you were skeptical. You always want your mom to be happy, and for sure you understand how lonely she is living alone with such a big house filled with things your dad had built for her before fleeing your family to be in a different one.
-
The food was good, and you ate a lot of it.
Your mother insisted to buy you a drink to go with your pasta, making you hesitant, so the glass sat full in front of you.
"is it not good?" she would ask, making you race to come up with some excuse that wasnt related to the possible fact you could be pregnant.
"Oh I took a sip" you lied, "its good but I dont think I should be drinking right now"
She beamed up, seeming happy "oh? how come?" she smiled knowingly
Taehyung took a sip of his wine and raised his eyebrows, confused.
You panicked quickly, "because I am still not one hundred precent, health wise, so you know-"
"I'll drink it!" he smiled and took a sip, face scrunching at the mixture of his alcohol.
"dont mix, its not good to-" your mom began
"and we dont want you to get drunk" you gently rubbed his back, giving him a knowing glare, he nodded.
You nervously continued to pick at your lunch scraps
"hey we should get coffee or something after this, theres a store plaza down the street" your mom insisted, offering to drive you both
"that sounds fun" he looked at you, smiling
"yes, im down"
It fell silent, not in a weird way, it was peaceful...the wind coming in from the window near you had your hair flowing like you were in a covergirl commercial, and the sun only made your skin look shiny and tan.
Taehyung couldn't keep his eyes off you
Even sitting here eating, doing nothing particularly interesting, you were the only thing that had his attention, you've always been so effortlessly beautiful in his eyes.
"you are glowing, y/n" your mom smiled, taking her eyes off her phone to look at you, "dont you think, taehyung?"
"I agree" he hummed, making you blush.
Your mother began to ramble about something to do with her job while he got lost in thought, something hes done a lot the past 24 hours.
He couldn't help his mind racing back to the first time he felt this feeling, this feeling of admiration and love when he realized he saw you differently...
"You cant, your- you aree a cheater!!" you slurred, tripping over yourself as you walked to the living room again
He giggled, putting his wine down and pulling you to sit next to him, "just because I know how to play the game, doesnt mean I cheated"
It was almost 3am, he had finished working in his office around 11pm and promised to spend time with you as you both had fallen into a habit doing.
you would cook, prepare wine and entertainment, and he would get to destress and spend time away from his laptop.
Obviously, one look at the both of you right now, you can tell who handles their alcohol better...
"Fool" you scoffed and sat down with a thump, leaning against him in the dark room.
"be nice" he teased, his hand poking into your side.
He had to admit, spending so much time with you was nice, he realized you had matured a lot emotionally since hes met you, and you both had grown into semi-adults with real lives and things to talk about, it was an odd but fascinating thing for him.
He also had to admit, that for the first time in his life, seeing you against him with your hair sprawled out and your shirt scrunched up, revealing a bit of your soft stomach, made his heart somersault.
You also had grown into him in a way you never saw coming, he was so easy to just be next to, so easy to talk to, so easy to know and love, and that is why it led to what it did....
He gently cupped your face, titling you up so your eyes met his
"so pretty" he blushed and whispered, making you giggle in even your drunk state
"I know you are but what am I?" you raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh as he pushed your hair back, brushing it with his long fingers softly.
"Y/n.....?" he spoke after a moment, the room filled with tension- and no longer from the card game you had just fought over.
"yeah?" your face froze, eyes scanning over him,
he gently took your hand and placed it onto his chest
"your heart is beating reallyyy fast" you smiled
"yea, i know"
You watched his eyes draw to your lips before going back up, making you smirk.
"you wanna kiss me?" you teased, watching him blush even more, he was practically a tomato right now.
"I- uh,"
"you can if you want" your hand slid up over his shoulder, relaxing at his nape as you sat closer, nudging his nose with yours.
He swallowed harshly, feeling sick a bit, and was unable to identify if it was the rush of emotions or the drinks.
"dont overthink...its just a kiss" you whispered
and with that he pressed his lips to yours, softly swiping his tongue into your mouth.
It was just a kiss.
yeah, it was a kiss the next day too, after he finished work, you sat waiting for him, sober this time.
You ate then made out for a few hours before falling asleep- he was content, knowing you not only liked it too, but continued to want him.
thats how it was for a few days, things were normal until 11pm, then anyone onlooking would consider you both in love...and he loved that
He was a sensitive person, still is, when he feels something he feels it deeply and quick, He was only growing more in love with you by the day, and was convinced you felt the same.
that was, until it was about a week and a half into this escapade
"I want you" you panted, his lips sucking just under your clavicle as your hands gripped his hair.
You both were sprawled out on the couch, completely sober as you passionately made out, the puzzle that had been started was no longer interesting to either of you.
He sat back a bit, looking at you, "what?"
suddenly you felt embarrassed, "we dont have to do anything" you covered
He sat looking at you, it only made you feel self conscious, so you sat up and wrapped your arms over your bra, hiding your chest.
He wasnt mad, or shocked, he just couldnt believe you were asking to...to take things to this level, to be intimate with him.
You both have only been doing this for a little while, but he felt like its been forever-perhaps its due to the fact you both grew up together, he knows you, you know him, it felt safe...and right.
He didnt want to rush anything, but his heart was beating so damn hard right now, "y-yeah? you want to?"
You blushed, "yeah..." you watched his face light up, a small shy smile on his lips "its just sex..ya know? it doesn't hurt anyone"
He nodded, trying to figure out what to say or do now
"so is it okay?"
"of course, y/n, yeah..." he smiled again, feeling so glad in knowing you trusted him.
You laid back again, pulling him down and kissing him, "no strings?" you asked
oh.
Of course you dont want this to be a serious thing, it wasnt who you were, he should have known that....but yet he was still hurt.
"yeah....n-no strings"
and thats how that came to be.
He snapped out of his head and took a sip of his drink, smiling at you, your eyes met his and you blushed a bit, mouthing "what?"
He shook his head, "nothing"
Things might be different now between you both, but one thing that hasnt left or changed is the admiration he saves for just you.
-
"this is so cute, huh?" your mom turns to you, showing a mannequin with a summer dress on it
"aww it is" you walked over and felt it
"i'll buy it" she smiles, "birthday gift"
"ah! you dont have to eomma-"
"i want to, shush" she giggled and grabbed a medium off the rack, putting it into her shopping basket, you kissed her cheek, thanking her and linking arms while you walked.
"wheres taehyung?" she asked
just as she finished speaking:
"guys look" he ran up to both of you, he had disappeared about 14 minuets ago to go explore the market.
"what is that?" you smiled, looking at the container in his hand.
"there is a little store across the way, there was pets and stuff.....I bought a fishy" he grinned like a child, presenting the item in front of him.
"Taehyung how are we gonna bring a fish home?" you laughed at his cuteness, looking into the small water container to see a tiny fish swimming around happily.
"oh...I didnt think of that" he frowns, looking down, "I also bought a tank for him too"
"that you did" You nodded, looking at all of his bags.
"you guys are fish parents now" your mom laughed and patted his shoulder
You swallowed and nodded, yeahh fish parents
"we can discuss names at a later time, lets go show the lil dude the market" he spoke proudly, holding it up and talking to it as he passed cool stores, as if it could understand. It was kind of adorable.
You smiled happily as you all walked around a bit more, stopping at a cafe to get coffee and tea.
"iced with oatmilk please" you call out to your mom as she nods, getting into line while you and taehyung sit at a table outside.
"hes so cute" he laid his head in his palm, admiring the fish.
"we should name him spongebob"
Taehyung laughed, "but spongebob isnt a fish..."
"but hes yellow!"
"hmm...how about 해 (hae- sun in korean)
You smile and nod..."thats cute, actually"
"Then Hae it is"
You giggled and looked around, your eyes fell on a store a few blocks from where you were sitting- a pharmacy.
It was like a reminder of the possible issue at hand, everywhere you turned, the universe wouldnt let you rest.
The fish baby, the pharmacy, the pregnant woman who complimented you in the restaurant, It was haunting.
"hey, uhm, im gonna go run down the street really quick, i should be back before my mom comes, line is long"
He looked up at you "where you going?"
"just the pharmacy"
"can I come?"
You widened your eyes "no!...uhm i need....tampons." you nodded
"alright, do you have cash?"
You looked in your bag and had about $11
How much was a pregnancy test?
"here, just in case.." he smiled and gave you $10
"thank you honey" you kiss his head and take the money, assuring you will return asap.
You felt bad lying and taking his cash, but you needed to find out what was going on already, and so when you walked into the store with your head down, you made a straight line right to the feminine care isle.
You decided on buying tampons anyway, just so he wouldnt be suspicious.
"okay ...okay" you took a breath and walked over to the pregnancy area, which was beyond weird. You had passed by similar isles at other stores, looking out of pure curiosity, never believing you would be in this position of the buyer.
You scoffed to yourself, looking at all the tests, "which one do I buy? whats the difference?" you whispered to yourself, looking over each box, remembering you had to be quick. You decided to go with HCG test strips since they were the cheapest, you put them in your basket and ran to go pay before tae or your mom decided to come check on you.
The lady checking out gave you a knowing look, "how old are you?" she asked, eyeing the tampons and pregnancy tests.
You felt insulted, not because she assumed you were young-which you were- but because she was just asking and felt it was okay to do so.
"old enough, lets hurry this up"
You paid and grabbed the bag, making a sprint back to the coffee shop where your mom was just sitting down with taehyung- you made it.
"heres your drink" she smiled, "thanks mom"
you sat down next to taehyung, your heart was in your throat.
"I told her you ran to get concealer" he whispered in your ear, an attempt to save you some embarrassment
"oh, thanks" you grinned, brushing your foot against his.
-
A few hours later, the sun had started to set as you all returned home- your mother went to her home office to finish a quick work call as you and taehyung hung in the kitchen.
"im glad you can enjoy it now" he smiled, scooping another bite last nights cake onto a fork and feeding it to you
"yeah me too" you hummed, eating it before he kissed you quickly
"my moms in the other room" You scolded playfully, licking the frosting off the fork.
"so? we arent doing anything" he frowned, hugging you, "we cant do anything anyways-you got your period" he giggled
Oh yeah
"oh right" you laughed, taking another bite
His hands rested on your lower stomach, massaging gently. It was an act of cuteness but when you knew more than he did, it made you nervous.
"are you hurting?" he asked, kissing your shoulder
"no..." you blushed
maybe.....it wouldnt be the worst thing to parent with taehyung. He is so affectionate and caring, you know he would be the best partner and dad.....
You shook your head, trying to get rid of your current thoughts as you put the fork down.
You needed to end this now
"im...gonna shower ok?" you whispered, kissing his jaw
"want me to come?" he asked genuinely
"no no its okay, im gonna use my apple soap that you says burns your nose anyways" you giggle, walking away
"it does!!"
"mmhm"
-
You locked the bathroom door, placing the bag on the sink as you rummaged through.
"how the fuck does this work?" you whisper, looking over the box of the tests, "hm" you frowned and pulled one out, unwrapping it discreetly and going to use the toilet.
After you peed on the stick, your hand grew sweaty- it was becoming more real as the minuets when on.
While you waited, you took an actual shower to pass the time, fighting the urge to cry based on whatever result was on the stick just outside the shower.
You washed your hair and took your time before you wrapped up in a towel, shutting the water off.
it would be negative, right? you couldnt be pregnant, these types of things dont happen to you, these things happen to other but not you, you are probably worried about nothing...right?
Your mind raced as you sat near the sink, water still dripping from the towel.
"lets go y/n, whatever it is.....we are ok" you consoled yourself, rubbing your arm before moving to grab the test, your hands shaking furiously.
Suddenly everything youve ever done was questioned.
every choice youve ever made was doubted
Your confidence fell down the drain, and perhaps the years spent working and educating yourself are pointless.....maybe it wont matter after all....because theres two lines on the test.
You are pregnant.
You broke down sobbing, leaning against the wall as you slid to your knees, there wasnt anything to say, there wasnt anything to do. You were gonna have a baby and there was nothing you could do about it, nothing you say would erase the problem.
Your mother and taehyung sat downstairs, completely unaware of the anxiety attack you were dealing with just one floor above them.
"no no...no..." your hand fell to your stomach, gently caressing it.
You werent mad at the baby, you were mad at yourself. You suddenly felt responsible for the life growing inside you, but felt guilty over knowing you would never succeed at being a mom.
"im sorry.....im sorry im so sorry" you rubbed your stomach once more, whispering and apologizing in advance for the failure you would bring to this childs life. you havent even finished school, you graduate next year and now you are gonna have to drop out because paying for a newborn and tuition wont work, you will have to sell your car and old clothes
you will have to move somewhere cheaper, or grow small and confess to your mother that you cant get your shit together, and need to have a baby in her house for a few years until you are financially stable.
In your own mind, you were still a kid. You were a baby in the eyes of the world, and now everyone will shame you for what youve done, knowing you arent ready, but still expect you to carry on and raise another human being.
and taehyung.....hes gonna be happy....hes gonna love this, and you cant deal with it.
-
About an hour later, you had forced yourself to calm down as you made your way to his room, opening the door to see him laying on his bed.
"hi angel" he smiled, urging you to come over to him.
"hi" you spoke quietly, walking over to the bed and climbing in, hiding your face into his neck as you laid on him.
"everything alright?" he asked, rubbing your back.
tell him, tell him now before you back out, you wont ever do it if you dont tell him.
"we have to talk later" was all you mumbled, falling asleep next to him.
It blew your mind in a way, he had no clue about the fact he was a dad right now, yet here you were, falling apart by the seams. You wish you didnt know. You wish you were him, you wish this never happened in the first place.
Happy birthday to you, huh?
taglist-
@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee @bokieya
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notcatherinemorland · 5 years ago
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oh shit fuck . was 11th doctor meant to be some kind of anti-hero to doctor who as a character - was he MEANT to be a caricature of 10 with all the snappy wit and none of the heart . because you don’t intentionally craft a shell of a character and then play the same emotional home-run best-sellers that the character is literally crafted to reject. thats. hhhhhhhh. 
i watched the god complex episode yesterday bc hashtag self care and . firstly, there was no where near as many shots of 9 on his own thruout the whole fucking season as there are with 11 in that single episode. which is why im rewatching bc i want that to be an outlier & was in fact to highlight the fact that the doctor was treated as a deity by amy and by extension the viewer. bc the companion /should/ frame half of how we view the doctor . 
god i sound such an arse. i sound like on of those dickheads u find in w*rh*mmer stores that tell you you couldn’t possibly understand the nuance of their game. no im not bitter why do you ask. i actually. rlly enjoy what i know of that game w*rh*mmer sweetie im sorry . 
OR am i giving the bbc too much credit and 11 really was a shit sh*rl*ck knockoff where That Man^tm failed to write the same kind of character twice . 
listen i love an anti hero but anti heroes have their own set of standard emotional beats to hit and not to be a dick and say all media has to follow the patterns i accept (hfdkgb i know how im coming across) but if you’re going to run a hero’s emotional arc on an anti-hero character, you gotta do it /really fucking well/. 
also the god complex episode has fallen a bit in my esteem for that ????? ending. what the fuck what the fuck. it’s my favourite episode from 11 probably still (vincent & the doctor is in a class of it’s own) but like. mother fucker. u had a BRILLIANT idea and THATS what you did with it. fuck me 
all that said. i still enjoyed it overall & i enjoyed all the little bits of it & i enjoy picking it apart bc im a neurotic ass and this is how i choose to enjoy media lmao
like . the doctor destroying amy’s blind faith in him to save their lives from a creature that can’t help but follow orders that no longer matter and cause it great harm?? in a tiny little hotel room ?? that contains a projection of a child amy aka big recurring image . what a fucking home run of a moment. god that was good. i genuinely really loved that.
the ending, however, felt like it belonged on a different episode and was the exact opposite of any resolution that was desperately needed after that above. and yes sure ‘child-like 11 running off away from his responsibilities and hard emotional moments’ but also we’re two away from the finale . there should be GROWTH. WHERE WAS MY DISCUSSION. FHGKBD GOD I’M SO FRUSTRATED. 
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watchmegetobsessed · 6 years ago
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Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 12
yoooo im back with a new part!! okay this sounded like im a shitty rapper.. im really losing my shit lately over school but whatever... anyway, enjoy! shower me with your thoughts!
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10  - Part 11
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I’m an emotional wreck when I get into the car and Nick greets me with a friendly smile. The silence is comforting, though I miss the country music Shawn used to play every time he was in a good mood.
I’m not a nail biter, but I nibble on them as we are getting closer and closer to Shawn’s place and I’m trying to come up with a plan on how I want to do it. Should I just blurt it out or should I build it up properly like a speech that ends with me telling him that he is going to be a father?
None of the options seem to be right, so after a while I give up and decide to just go with the flow.
When Nick rolls into the garage my nerves are exploding and my hands are shaking when I get out of the car. I take the elevator and I feel like my stomach was left in the garage when the elevator moved up.
The door opens and I walk into the familiar apartment. I hear his singing voice coming from the kitchen even before I could see him and it immediately brings a smile to my lips. I don’t know what I was expecting to see or how I imagined our first meeting after our emotional goodbye, but it feels… normal.
I walk into the kitchen and he looks up at me from the instant soup he is making and a wide smile dances to his beautiful face. He looks just as handsome as I remembered, his hair is now a bit longer, a curl is dancing on his forehead with every movement, but it’s beyond adorable. I have to fight the urge to curl it to my finger.
“Hi!” he greets me and stepping closer he pulls me into a hug, and I feel like I’m finally safe and home.
“Hi,” I whisper against his hoodie as I wrap my arms around his waist. Smelling his scent makes is even harder to peel myself off of him when it’s long over the friendly duration for the hug. “Instant soup, huh?” I ask hoping to make myself forget about the aching pain in my chest that I’m feeling now that he is standing next to me again.
“I don’t have lunch or dinner dates anymore, so I’m more often stuck here alone. And I’m still not a chef,” he chuckles shaking his head.
“Ordering is still an option, you know?”
“I… haven’t been quite in the mood to talk to strangers, not even a delivery guy,” he mumbles anxiously as he puts a spoon into the soup and stirs it. Steam is dancing above the bowl indicating that it’s still pretty hot, so he doesn’t attempt to taste it, just lets it sit on the counter.
I can relate to how he is feeling and I’m surprised he shared this detail with me. I was afraid he would be distant and sullen with me, but his honesty is calming me.
“Do you want a glass of wine or something?” he asks walking over to the fridge. I almost say yes immediately, some alcohol would definitely work for me, but then I realize that I can’t. Because there is a teeny-tiny baby in my stomach now.
“Um, no thank you,” I shake my head and watch him grab a water for both of us.
“So, not that I’m rushing you, but I’m really curious about what you wanted to talk about.”
We make ourselves comfortable on the couch and I feel my anxiety coming over me. I have no idea how to do it, but I can’t just blurt it out. I need time to think.
“I… I’ve been missing you.”
He gives me a doubtful look and I’m afraid he can see through me, but then he doesn’t question if this was my original intention. But I start talking again just to be sure.
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot and I just couldn’t get you off of my mind. I know I was the one who wanted to end everything, but… I guess I can’t do it.”
I feel horrible. I should have told him straight away instead of talking bullshit. Well, okay, it’s not bullshit, it’s true, I’ve been missing him as hell, but this is not why I came here.
He runs his hand through his hair and I think back of the time I used to do this without a second thought. Now I’m sitting next to him with a decent gap between us, so our legs can’t touch.
“I missed you too, Naya. So much. But… what do you want to do? I mean… I’m happy to start seeing you again, but we have to figure this out, how we want to make it work.”
I nod with a blank stare and I don’t know what I can say. If I don’t tell him about the pregnancy test I’m just fucking everything up, making him believe things are turning right and we can start over again, when truth is, everything is about to turn upside down.
For my luck, his phone starts ringing somewhere in his room and he excuses himself rushing into the room to answer the call.
I growl angrily as I reach for my bag and grab the test. I stare at it and can’t help but grimace. What am I doing here? I can’t ruin his life, I was the stupid one who forgot to take the pill, so it’s all my fault. A child would blow up his whole life and I can’t put up with the thought of messing everything up for him. I shouldn’t have come here.
I jump when I realize he is walking out of his room and in my sudden confusion I tug the stick to my coat’s pocket hiding it as I jump to my feet. I have to leave before I fuck something up.
“Where are you going?” he asks with raised eyebrows.
“I-I gotta leave. I’m sorry.” I mumble nervously as I head to the elevator, but he grabs my arm and… and everything happens too fast.
His grip is not too hard, but it’s strong enough to pull my hand out of the pocket and the stick slides out with it as well. It falls to the floor and the clinking makes me jump. I totally freeze right at that moment, giving Shawn the chance to reach for it.
As I watch him pick the test up from the floor I hold my breath and pull my shoulders up, as if I’m afraid he is about to explode. He hold it between his fingers, stares at it for the longest few seconds before his eyes slowly move up to my face. I’m biting my lips, feeling the tears dwelling in my eyes.
Why didn’t I put the damn test back into my bag? Why am I such an idiot?
“Shawn, I-��� I start, but I don’t get to finish, he cuts me off.
“Is this yours?” he asks in a firm voice. I nod.
“I took it this morning. I threw up last night and realized I’ve been late for over a week, so I bought the test and…”
“Did you do it on purpose?” I hear his next question and the words freeze to my tongue.
“What?” I manage to say.
“Did you get pregnant on purpose? Were you planning on it?”
His expressions are hard, he seems mad and it’s scary to see him like this. I didn’t want to upset him and his questions catch me off-guard. I stare at him in disbelief, but it soon turns into anger. How can he think I did this on purpose?
“Sure, I thought it would be fun to mess up my and your life as well!” I snap back angrily. “Of course I didn’t! I forgot to take the damn pills!” I growl as I snatch the test from his hand. Now I’m raging and I’m offended by the accusation.
“You told me not to worry about it! And yet, you have a positive pregnancy test in your bag now!” he retorts just making it even worse.
“I’m sorry, I was too busy trying not to fall apart! I’m sorry I’m human! But if you think I did this on purpose then I’m leaving now. It was a mistake to come here.”
I turn around furiously, but he grabs my arm again holding me back. When I turn back to him his face is completely changed. He doesn’t seem mad anymore, more like… desperate.
“Hey, hey, hey. I’m sorry! I didn’t… I just- I’m in shock, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“And you think I’m not shocked?” I scoff in disbelief. “This morning I found out that I’m pregnant, I came here to find comfort and maybe to find out what we should do now, and then you accuse me of doing it on purpose!” Tears are running down on my cheeks and though I try to push him away, he pulls me to him and closes his arms around me no matter how badly I’m trying to get away from him. “I’m so fucking shook, I’m terrified and I really thought seeing you would make me feel better, but I’m still so afraid.”
Now I’m full on crying, I’m sobbing into his shirt but he doesn’t seem to care. His strong arms hold me tight to his body and I just want to stay like this forever. He is stroking my hair gently, soothing me without letting go of me. I’m glad he is holding me because my knees feel like jelly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, I wasn’t thinking. It’s okay baby,” he whispers into my hair pressing a kiss to my temple.
“I’m sorry for raging so bad. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster in the last 24 hours,” I mumble wiping my tears off of my face, but I know my eyes has already swelled and as red as a tomato.
“It’s fine. Come on, let’s sit down and talk, okay?”
I nod my head and he pulls me back to the couch. He gently takes my coat off and sitting down he pulls me close, circling an arm around my shoulders. His body’s heat is attracting me like I’m a bug and he is the only light in the room. I cuddle to his side and enjoy the momentary silence as I slowly realize I’m somehow relieved. The secret is out, he knows about the test, now we can focus on figuring out everything else.
“I’m sorry about the pill. I should have been more careful, it’s my fault,” I mumble and looking up at him I my gaze meets his soft eyes. All the anger and doubt is gone by now, I have my soft Shawn back, thanks God.
“Don’t say that. I should have been more persistent about using a condom too. We are in this together. But we really have to figure out the next step.”
“The next step is that I have a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow. These test are pretty reliable, but I need to see a professional as well.”
“Cancel the appointment, I’ll get you one in a private hospital. They are very trustworthy and we can sneak in without getting noticed.”
I don’t protest, I’m more than happy to keep it a secret for as long as possible. The last thing I need is to get recognized as I’m going to the gynecologist with Shawn.
“And we have to tell at least Andrew. He would kill me if something got out without him knowing about it.”
“He is going to hate me for life,” I sigh sadly, shutting my eyes closed. He runs his hand up and down my arm soothingly.
“Hey, don’t worry. Andrew is a smart guy, he doesn’t hold a grudge for nothing. And as I said, I was there too when…” His other hand gently slips under my sweater to my stomach. “When this baby thing happened. You remember?”
His playful smile calms me a bit. I’m suddenly very aware of his warm palm on my stomach and it’s so strange, to think about the tiny baby in my stomach.
“Shawn?” I speak up after a few silent moments.
“Hm?”
“I’m scared.” My voice is just a dying whisper and the damn tears are flowing again from my eyes, I can’t help it. Startled from my sudden mood change he sits straight up so he can look into my eyes, he cups my face in his hands and runs hid thumbs across my cheeks.
“Don’t be. It’s going to be alright. I’m not letting you do this alone, okay?” I nod my head sniffing like a little child. “I know it’s very sudden and scary, but you are not alone. I’m here and we are in this together.”
Now I’m crying because he is the sweetest person alive. His kind and soothing words comfort me like nothing on the world and even though this is a shitty situation I’m still happy I get to do this with him.
“I just… Don’t feel like I’m ready for this,” I choke out shaking my head.
“You will be ready for this when the time comes. I know we can make this work, okay? Just… don’t give up. We have someone else to think about now,” he lets out a small chuckle making me laugh through my tears.
Thanks to the emotional shock we both went through we doze out on the couch soon. When I open my eyes it’s already dark outside, meaning I spent almost half of the day napping with Shawn on his couch. His arms are hugging me protectively as he is spooning me from behind. I don’t want to wake him up, but one, I really have to pee and two, it’s time for me to leave, I don’t intend to spend the night here. Our situation doesn’t mean we are back on track.
I successfully peel myself out of his grip and make it to the bathroom. After quickly taking care of my business I check on him, he is still sleeping, now hugging a pillow to his chest. I take a moment to admire how peaceful he looks right now. No drama, no worries, just his angelic face that I still love so dearly.
As I feel myself getting emotional I turn away and grabbing my stuff I leave. I don’t call for Nick, I get a cab and head home.
I guess my message is clear to Shawn, he doesn’t call me that day. In the morning he texts me that he is picking me up at the café to go to the clinic and he also lets me know we are having a meeting with Andrew and Justin later, though I have no idea who Justin is. Definitely not Bieber.
Elisa is not home when I wake up, I’m thankful I don’t have to face her, she knows me too damn well and I know it would take one look and she would know something is off. I need more time to figure things out.
I have a beanie on and my scarf is covering half my face so I’m not recognizable. From my previous month spent with Shawn I expect him to be distant and moody after I left without a word yesterday, but I guess the situation is different now. I’m welcomed with a bright smile as I sit into the car.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” he asks me kindly.
“Um, fine. I was a bit nauseous in the morning, but I’m better,” I sigh tiredly. I leave out the part where I spent ten minutes kneeling next to the toilet because I was pretty close to throwing up. “Who is this Justin we are meeting later?” I ask.
“Justin Stirling. He is in my team, he has been doing a lot of marketing stuff for me lately, but he was busy with family stuff last month.”
I nod my head noting the information. The rest of the car ride is spent in silence. I feel so strange, before this whole pregnancy drama Shawn was always the dominant one, especially because he was kind of my boss. But now he looks so lost and confused, my news yesterday must have thrown him over the edge. He is looking out for my every mood and it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable.
We make it into the clinic without anyone noticing us. This is definitely not how I imagined my first trip to the doctor when I become pregnant. It’s far from idyllic, I’m nervous, my hands are shaking so I hide them in my pocket, Shawn is like a jumpy kid, looking out for everything around us.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Hosier, please, come in,” the doctor greets us. She is a lovely middle-aged woman with a warm smile which is quite calming. We follow her into the room and while I sit up on the white bed Shawn takes place next to me. “So tell me, what do we know so far?” she asks as she is getting ready for my examination.
“Um, I’ve been late for about nine days now, in the past two days I’ve been feeling nauseous and I threw up once. I took a test and it came out positive.” I’m nervous to talk about it with Shawn right next to me, but I try not to think about it.
“Okay. Any pain maybe in the lower stomach?”
“No,” I shake my head.
Soon my pants and underwear comes off and I sit with my legs up while Dr. Hosier is facing my lower half. She keeps asking me questions, I just stare up at the ceiling and answer them like a robot. Shawn looks tensed as he is looking at the doctor.
“I’m going to do an ultrasound quickly,” she informs me she helps me put my legs down. I’m trying to breathe evenly as she pours some jelly on my stomach and starts roaming it with that… something. I don’t even know what these things are, this is how unprepared I am!
All three of us is staring at the screen that is filled with black and white void, I don’t see anything, but the Dr. Hosier freezes the picture and puts a circle around a teeny-tiny dot in the lower part of the image.
“Well, I have news. You are in fact pregnant, Miss Duvall and that little dot is the baby.”
I guess she can sense how unwelcomed the situation is, so she keeps her congrats to herself. She quickly tells me that we need to reserve another appointment soon, she talks about vitamins and useful information while I wipe my stomach clean and get dressed.
“Here, this is for you,” she tells me handing me an envelope. Opening it I see two copies of the ultrasound picture. I just thank her quietly wanting nothing more than to just finally leave the clinic. It is official now, I’m pregnant.
The realization hits me hard across my face as we walk out of the room and head to the car. Neither of us is talking, I’m scared, mad and desperate about the situation and I’m pretty deep in my thoughts when Shawn takes my hand and stops me before I could walk out of the building.
“Naya, let’s… talk for a minute, okay?”
I just nod my head as we sit down in two seats in the corner. No one is batting an eye at us fortunately.
“I, uh- I just wanted to tell you that… I know it’s scary and everything, and Andrew will probably explode when we tell him, but… I’m totally in.”
“In what?” I ask confused.
“In this. In us, in investing in this pregnancy. I want to be part of it, no matter how crazy things will get. And I guess I’m not saying anything new if I say I want us to… continue from where we were before things went downhill.”
“Things didn’t go downhill, our work came to its end and I did the logical thing.”
“But this is not work anymore. I want to give us a chance.”
I stare at him with mixed emotions. I don’t know what I want, I need time to figure out my next step. I have so much to worry about now that my feelings for Shawn must come second… or third… I’m more worried about what Andrew will say, how I’m going to work and what will people think if it ever gets out.
“I need time. It’s just too messy for me now. I’m sorry, but… I need to figure everything out.”
I can tell my answer doesn’t satisfy him, but he doesn’t protest. Pressing his lips together he nods shortly before we continue our way out of the clinic.
I’m shitting my pants when we reach the office complex where we are supposed to meet Andrew and Justin. I have no idea what to expect, but I’m sure it won’t be too pretty. Shawn tries to calm me telling me that it will be alright, but I know we are in trouble.
Shawn knocks on the door that has Andrew’s name on it and when we get the approval he opens the door.
“Ah, hey! I didn’t know you would be here too,” he immediately says when he sees me, confusion all over his face as he shakes hands with Shawn shooting him a questioning look. But he just ignores it and turns to the other guy in the room.
“Hey man, this is…” he starts gesturing at me, but he is not sure which name to use, so I step ahead and hold a hand out for Justin.
“I’m Naya. Hi.”
This is already over the work relationship I formed previously, my real name is justifiable. I see Andrew’s surprised face from the corner of my eyes and I know he is a smart guy, he must be putting the picture together slowly. But I bet he has no idea about the bomb we are about to drop onto him.
“Hey, Justin. Nice to meet you,” Stirling shakes my hand and soon we all take our places. Andrew is behind the desk, Justin is leaning against the bookshelf in the corner while Shawn and I are sitting in front of them.
“So, what is this meeting about?” Andrew questions. I turn to Shawn and he is already opening his mouth to answer.
“I have something to tell you, but I hope you won’t get mad. I just want you to listen to me.” Andrew nods and Shawn continues. “So… During the one month Naya and I kinda got cozy, if you know what I mean. In the last two weeks things escalated quickly, so it all took a romantic turn. But, um, w-we ended it when the month was over,” he adds and I’m staring at Andrew, trying to read his expressions, but I can’t. He is like a statue.
“Okay, go on, what is the problem?” he asks leaning back in his seat, but I have a feeling he already figured it out, because when he looks at me I can feel his eyes burning into my skin.
“We made a very reckless and immature mistake by… Um, we- we didn’t…” Shawn’s stuttering is getting under my skin, so I take a deep breath and just blurt it out.
“We didn’t use protection and I’m pregnant.”
The room falls silent, Andrew is staring at me, Shawn is staring at Andrew, Justin is staring at Shawn and I’m staring at the floor. The words felt heavy in my mouth and I’m afraid my heart is about to jump out of my chest.
After what feels like eternity, Andrew takes his glasses off pinching the bridge of his nose as he takes a few deep breaths. Once he places the glasses back he leans on the desk and finally speaks.
“Have you been to a doctor or you just did a test?” he asks in a calm, but distant tone.
“We went to the clinic together today. I was there, it’s one hundred percent,” Shawn answers for me.
“How many weeks are you?”
“It’s the fourth,” I mumble ashamed. Andrew’s questions are prim and strict, it all feels like an interrogation.
I look at Justin for the first time since Shawn started talking and his face looks blank, but I can tell his thoughts are racing, trying to figure out what to do with the situation.
“Okay, and what do you want?”
I furrow my eyebrows confused.
“What I want? I don’t understand it…”
“What do you want?” He repeats. “Money? Followers? A job? What do you want?”
“I don’t wa- You think I did this to get stuff from you or Shawn?” I ask realizing what this is about. Shawn’s first reaction was almost the same and now I’m definitely hurt. I never made them believe I’m a scheming bitch, why does everyone think I’m using them?
“Of course the thought crosses my mind, otherwise, how could you be so reckless to have unsafe sex?” he asks as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but it’s just making my blood boil.
“Andrew, it’s not-“ Shawn starts, but I cut him off.
“How dare you accuse me of being such a horrible person? You know nothing about me! Just because I work as an escort doesn’t mean I have such low life choices as getting myself knocked up by a client! You know what? It was a mistake to come here.” I grab my bag and throwing it on my shoulder I stand up, ready to leave. Everyone moves with me, Andrew and Shawn jump up and Justin takes a step towards me, all three of them to stop me, but the intentions are not the same. While Shawn wants me to stay because he cares about me, Andrew is just afraid is I slip out the door he can’t control the news anymore.
Shawn grabs my wrist and gently pulls me closer to him.
“Please don’t go, let’s talk.”
“You are not leaving without a confidentiality contract, no way you are walking out just like that,” Andrew growls and it’s just making it worse.
“You’re not making me do anything. I don’t need anything from you,” I spat at him and Shawn stands between us, as if he is afraid we would start a fist fight.
“Let’s calm down and talk, okay? Please!” he pleads, but behind him Andrew doesn’t seem too committed.
“I can’t deal with him if he is treating me like a bitch,” I say in a low voice, but the room is small, so everyone can hear it. Though I don’t care.
“Andrew, would you calm down? It was all an accident, she is not trying to ruin me,” he tells his manager turning to face him, but he is still holding my wrist.
I can tell Andrew is boiling inside, holding himself back not to throw the desk at me, and we are staring at each other like two hungry lions over the last piece of meat. Poor Shawn is standing in the middle, hoping he won’t have to pull us out of a fight anytime soon.
Then he takes a deep breath and nods.
“I’m sorry, but this was… quite shocking. I wasn’t expecting this.”
“I get it, it was a shocker for everyone, but let’s just talk about it, okay?” Shawn offers and I’m too tired and emotionally drained out to start a fight, so I nod my head agreeing.
We manage to sit back to our previous places and Justin stands right behind Andrew as we try to start it over again without the accusations and drama.
“I’m sorry for reacting so harshly,” Andrew starts, obviously thinking through his choice of words. “I’m just shocked, but of course, I don’t think you are trying to use Shawn. So… Let’s figure out what to do,” he offers and we all nod agreeing. “Was abortion ever an option?”
“No,” Shawn and I answer at the same time even though we never discussed it. Despite the difficulties of the situation I wouldn’t be able to abort this baby, it’s just impossible for me and I guess Shawn thinks the same way.
“Alright, then we need a strategy,” Andrew tells a bit more like to himself than to us as he is staring down at his desk. “Um… Are you guys…”
“Are you guys together now?” Justin asks speaking up for the first time in a while.
I see Shawn turning to me from the corner of my eyes, and his gaze is burning my temple as he is staring at me.
“It’s… it’s undefined. I have to figure a lot of stuff out.” I say feeling a bit guilty under their examining looks.
“But this is all joint now. Your decisions effect our work as well, I’m sorry, but you can’t just run free. Obviously, Shawn wants to take part in the baby’s life, so we have to work together. What stuff do you need to figure out?”
I feel awkward and anxious as I realize that he is right. I have to worry about myself, the baby and also consider Shawn as a third party, because he has the right to take part in this journey. I owe him honesty.
“I-I have to think about work, I need to talk to Joshua, because as soon as it gets visible I can’t work. But then I need money, because…” I don’t finish the sentence, I’m not ready to share my giant debts with them and listen to their pity. No way.
“Naya, I can support you financially. Let me help you out!” Shawn sighs obviously being over my shit, but I’m just too stubborn.
“No. That’s your money. I have my own problems to solve,” I protest.
“But I told you, we are in this together! I won’t just watch you struggle.”
“I can’t ask you to do me such a huge favor,” I shake my head staring down at my hands. I’m ashamed to admit how much debt I have to pay for every month.
“You’re not asking, I’m offering it.”
“Shawn stop!” I snap at him as I feel myself getting emotional again. “You have no idea how deep I’m in this shit! I inherited 1.2 million dollars of debts after my mom disappeared and left my number to everyone she was owing to, so now I’m paying thousands of dollars every month, because if I don’t, I might end up dead in a dumpster!”
My outburst is followed by total silence and my eyes are tearing up pretty quick. I didn’t mean to say it out loud, I never want people to know how much I struggle because of my own mother. She was a failure, never had a decent job so he paid for her debts by asking for more money from different people. Living this lifestyle for almost ten years can send you down the spiral, and when she disappeared after I moved out from her she left 1.2 million dollars worth of debt, forcing me to start working as an escort since this was the only job that offered me enough money each month to cover everything. I’ve paid back about half of the money by now, but I’m still coughing the rest every damn month. I was once late with paying, the next day two not too friendly guys showed up at my apartment and taught me a lesson with their fists. I never want to experience that. I scared the shit out of Elisa when she saw my black-eye.
“Can we… Can we have this conversation sometime later? I’m really not feeling good,” I say after a long time. I guess I shocked everyone with my outburst, they are all speechless. Shawn is the first one to recover after the scene.
“Um, Andrew how about we all have lunch tomorrow and talk about this? I think we all need some time to adjust the situation.”
I thank God for this offer, because I’m nauseous and anxious to sit here and talk about the future that involves a baby in my belly.
“It’s a great idea. Let’s just think about everything and come prepared the next time,” Justin nods agreeing and Andrew seems to be on the same page as well.
I put on my coat and keeping my gaze down I leave the office while Shawn exchanges a few words. I stop at the hallway waiting for him, chewing on my bottom lip I’m on the verge of crying once again. A few minutes later Shawn appears and seeing my long face he wraps an arm around my shoulders pulling me to his chest and this is exactly what I need right now.
“How about we get some takeaway, go to my place, eat and… just chill. Hm?” He offers mumbling into my hair, running his hands up and down my arms soothingly. I just nod my head, I’m too weak and stressed to talk and though I know I shouldn’t be getting closer to him, I just can’t resist. I need his presence, I want him to tell me it’s going to be okay, I just need somebody.
No.
I need him.
-
I AM SHOOK ARE YOU SHOOK LETS ALL BE SHOOK no im just kidding I WROTE IT hahaha okay im done here bye
taglist:  @damnigotadime @jrock-1987 @dacutiehart @ricchhelle @shar-is-my-name @hollandechart
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thesundaymorningpost · 7 years ago
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The Sunday Morning Post
September 3, 2017                                                          10th Edition
Current News:
Yuri on Ice: ShitBang
On August 31st, if you love Yuri on Ice, your feed may have blown up with stories and artwork created as a means for writers and artists to come together and work on a project together.
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What is the Shit Bang you ask? It is an amazing event for writers and artists to come together and write and draw about the amazing anime we all love: Yuri!!! On Ice! But a little more than that this is a direct - non-hateful - response to THAT blog. You know the one I’m talking about. Yup. THAT one. - @yoi-shit-bang
The amount of stories and artwork has been astounding. From one-shots, to multi-chapters, all written by amazing authors. Then there is all the amazing artwork that has come with it, by some amazing and very talented artists.
Please keep in mind that many subjects may trigger, please read all tags before reading a story. 
Story Recommendation: we have loved the stars too fondly by @thehandsingsweapon
“We live in a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don’t believe in miracles?”
After an academic career at MIT and Oxford, Yuuri Katsuki eschews job offers at places like NASA and CERN to go work at the Very Large Array in what Phichit Chulanont lovingly calls The Actual Middle of Nowhere, New Mexico, monitoring radio frequencies from light-years away. He's loved the stars for as long as he can remember, and the universe feels so big sometimes that Yuuri is sure it would be a cruel mistake for humans to be all alone.
Enter the latest scientist to join the staff of the VLA, enigmatic Russian genius Victor Nikiforov, around whom Yuuri’s entire universe seems to bend to make room, and the strange, recurring dreams Yuuri keeps having, where something like love carries him across the stars.
Does love travel faster than light? Do souls?
“The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”
"Yuri, on Stars!!   This lovely short story will resonate with anyone that lives the heavens.  Dreamscapes thought to be a figment of Yuuri's imagination turn out to be a more real than tangible science, and Viktor is patient with all his insecurities.  With just the right amount of angst to give it depth, this vignette will take you into the endless cosmos!" - @darkrivertempest
Artist Spotlight:
we have loved the stars too fondly by @shadhahvar
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Comic:
Good boy by @floccinaucinihilipilificationa  (Click title to reblog)
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Support: 
This week’s Ko-Fi shout-out goes to Discoursemoth | @lowercasewrites  (Click to buy coffee)
im sei! im a non-passing trans boy with unsupportive parents, and im using this account primarily to pay for things that could help me pass better, such as a packer and binder. you obviously dont have to donate but i would really appreciate it!                                
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Patreon: YukiPri | @yukipri  (Click name to become a patreon)
Hey there!! Thanks so much for visiting my Patreon. I'm Kazu, also YukiPri on Tumblr. I'm currently a freelance translator and illustrator who is HOPING to support myself primarily through art. My passion is telling my own unique stories through visual media, and I love world-building, costume design, and overall extensively over-thinking all of my stories. This patreon is a step towards hopefully better sustaining myself off of art so I can continue to grow as a professional artist and produce content that you can enjoy! I am unbelievably grateful to every patron who helps me continue to do what I love doing. My wish is for the majority of my work to remain public, but I also desperately need to support myself, and also have a variety of content that I'm not comfortable posting publicly for various reasons. As thanks for your support, my patrons will get access to exclusive content, including WIPs/sketches, previews, art progress/tutorials, higher resolution art, early access, and nsfw content!
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Fun and Games:
10 Questions Every Fic Writer Secretly Wants to be Asked by @wyseink  (Click Title to reblog)
There are a lot of fic questions that float around online, but rarely do they ever ask specific questions about the fics themselves. Ask any writer one or more of these ten questions to learn more about the fic and show support.
1. Of the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?
2. Which scene was your favorite to write in [title of fic]?
3. Which part of [title] was hardest to write?
4. If you could change anything in [title], what would it be?
5. Did you make an outline for [title]? Did you stick to it?
6. Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in [title]?
7. Who was your favorite character to write in [title]?
8. Which came first, the title or the fic?
9. Which idea came to you first in [title]?
10. What are some facts readers may not know about [title]?
Story Prompt:
Monochrome by @diamondwinters An AU where people who are sad, down, depressed cannot hide it. Whenever you get sad, you start to loose your color. Your skin turns pale, your eyes loose their color, and turn gray or white, and your hair turns gray. Like an old black and white tv show, you loose all your color when you’re very sad. A little bit of sadness might dim your natural colors, but you wouldn’t loose them. It’s during a time when you feel heart broken, or very depressed that you go Monochrome. Such as a big break up, a death of a loved one, deep depression, etc. Monochrome is the medical term used by the doctors in this AU to describe turning gray in a world of color.
Some people who are unable to get happy, may use make-up, contacts, and hair color to hide the fact that they’re depressed, but eventually even those things will loose their color and will need to be replaced.
The best thing to do is to find your happiness. Be with friends, and family who can help you bring your color back. The brighter you are, the more vivid your colors are, the happier you are.
Art Prompt:
Imagine your OTP by @bumble-beany
Person A: Are you awake?                                         
Person B: I am now                                         
Person A: I was just wondering...                                         
Person A: What do you think it'd be like to be a pregnant male seahorse?
Person B: Really?! You woke me up for that?
W.I.P. Motivation:
Liquor Stash by @severeminx​
I want him.
When the full realization hit him, Yuri felt as though he couldn’t breathe. Detached and fleeting thoughts that had passed through his mind finally took shape in these three words at that exact moment. The I being himself, Yuri Plisetsky, age 17, a Russian figure skater with a list of impressive accomplishments to his name that seemed pretty pointless right now given the context. The want being desire, the need to bury himself, the thought to consume, but never actually act out except behind locked doors in empty beds or shower stalls. The him being the person standing across from Yuri sipping coffee from a take-away cup with creased brows, the low sunlight hitting his face just so to light up his otherwise dark eyes. Someone he considered to be his best friend, who came all the way from Almaty just to spend a week with him and who was blissfully unaware of the fucking turmoil Yuri was feeling in the pit of his stomach. Or at least, Yuri hoped he was unaware.
In which Yuri Plisetsky invites Otabek Altin over to stay with him in Saint Petersburg, freaks out over his feelings and delves into Lilia's liquor stash.
Please go read and support this artist. They are looking for kudos and comments to get them back into finishing this fantastic story!
Fandom Week:  (Click each line to go to blog)
Zarkon Week! September 3rd - 9th.
Yuri on Ice Music Week! September 4th - 11th
NSFW Yuri Plisetsky Week! September 11th - 17th.
Guang-Hong Week! Voting will be Sept 15th - 21st
SeungChuchu Week! October 16th - 23rd.
Help Wanted:
Needed: Tumblr theme editor. Please contact Diamond Winters for details.
Story recommendations!! If you find a story that you absolutely love, and you want to see it get some recognition, please submit a link to it with a 2-3 sentence review of the story. This way it could get in the spotlight in a future edition of the SMP. Requirements are that it’s completed, or a one-shot.
Artist Spotlight!! If you find a piece of artwork that needs more love, please submit a link to it so it may be considered for future spotlights in the future.
WIP Motivation: Please send your support to these writers or artist to encourage them to continue their story or artwork. No good story or piece of art should be left unfinished. - If you know of a good story that hasn’t been updated in a while, and would like to offer encouragement to the author, please let me know, so that I can link to their story here.
If there is ever any section of the Sunday Morning Post that you feel you can contribute too, please send an Ask or Submit to either the SMP, or @d2diamond so that it has a chance at making in a future post. Thank you!  
@yoi-shit-bang | @thehandsingsweapon | @darkrivertempest | @shadhahvar | @floccinaucinihilipilificationa | @lowercasewrites | @yukipri | @wyseink | @diamondwinters | @bumble-beany | @severeminx
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azreaelthefallen · 7 years ago
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Mun posts
Part 1: The Basics 1. What is your full name? Azreael Torsera Necros 2. Where and when were you born? January 4th long long time ago 3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) Lucifer necros and mariluna necros My dad is the king of hell and my mom........yeah. 4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? Theres michael and amberlynn. Lynn is the youngest. Michael is the oldest. Hes.....ok. Just a lil too by the rules. Lynn......needs to chill 5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. I live in a moderately nice house with a young man named dean. Im taking care of him and trying to exorcise the demon thats possesing him. 6. What is your occupation? Doctor and demon hunter 7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. Ugh do i have to? Fine. Grey and black hair with bright blue eyes a scar over my right one black and blue hoodie with gold shackles and jeans and  demon tail. 8. To which social class do you belong? I dont know my dude 9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? ...........alchohol 10. Are you right- or left-handed? Ambidextrous 11. What does your voice sound like? Ive been told i sound like some dude from the show naruto. Uhhhh kakashi? 12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Fuck you. Uhhhh....can i order a large pepperoni pizza 13. What do you have in your pockets? My wallet. A thing. A small bottle of holy water i gotta be fucking careful with. My motorcycle keys 14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I do NOT Like being woke up. Part 2: Growing Up 15. How would you describe your childhood in general? Shitty 16. What is your earliest memory? Playing catch with my brother michael 17. How much schooling have you had? AL O T 18. Did you enjoy school? kinda? I liked collage 19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? ....i dont wanna talk about that 20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm probably my brother michael 21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? My mom was the best as was mike 22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? ....a hero... 23. As a child, what were your favorite activities? Gardening 24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? Determination and cleverness 25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? No 26. When and with whom was your first kiss? A dude 27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Why is this relavent 28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. Im a an angel. Fallen now but i was born this way bitch Part 3: Past Influences 29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? .......italy 30. Who has had the most influence on you? Probably my best freind jackson 31. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Lol whats achievement. Kidding. Umm i once saved a train full of people 32. What is your greatest regret? Haaaaaaaaaaaa drinking 33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? ...................lets not go there please 34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? //SWEATS// meeeee oh heavens noooooo i dont have hahaha criminal record whats that...HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA 35. When was the time you were the most frightened? ........... 36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? Woke up in a dumpster after doing weed 37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? ........................im not gonna say 38. What is your best memory? Probably when i met jackson haha. 39. What is your worst memory? .......................being alone Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions 40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Tries to be optimistic 41. What is your greatest fear? ........being alone..... 42. What are your religious views? No idea 43. What are your political views? Dont care 44. What are your views on sex? YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW 45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? If they are hurting people i will kill them. 46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? No idea 47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? I guess??? 48. What do you believe makes a successful life? Happiness 49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Not too honest lmaoooo 50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? No??????? 51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? Lets....not talk about that 52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Anyone whos close to me. Part 5: Relationships With Others 53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? Treat other people nicely and ill treat you nicely 54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? I dont know honestly. I have alot of people i care about extremely much 55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why? Thatd be jackson. Hes helped me so much and honestly i couldn't ask for a better freind. 56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. I have alot of freinds. I think. I hope they consider me their freind. My best freind is jackson blutstrom. Hes technicaly an alien but hes a doctor and a scientist. 57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. ....sorry haha...last one...kinda....ha........... 58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. .....lets...not ok just....no stop 59. What do you look for in a potential lover? Just be there for me. And be kind. Love my faults as well as me. 60. How close are you to your family? Uhhhhh close i guess 61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? I have 2 sons arrow and vector. 62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Jackson. Or my brother Michael 63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? I dont want anyone to have to protect me im not worth it 64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Edward probably. Hes a good kid. Also Dean. And jackson. 65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why? Lets not go there either 66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Argue lol 67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? I guess leader 68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? Its ok. 69. Do you care what others think of you? Yeah Part 6: Likes And Dislikes 70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? I like puzzles and tv 71. What is your most treasured possession? My scythe 72. What is your favorite color? Blue 73. What is your favorite food? Pizza 74. What, if anything, do you like to read? Stuff about science 75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? Law and order lol 76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? I drink. I used to smoke. Im trying to quit drinking. Not by choice though SOME ONE keeps stealing my alchohol 77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Sleeping and reasearch 78. What makes you laugh? I dunno how to describe it >:T 79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Gasp or slap or cry 80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Research or kill demons or both 81. How do you deal with stress? :))))) 82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? Spontaneous. Im reckless as fuck 83. What are your pet peeves? Part 7: Self Images And Etc. 84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? Whats routine 85. What is your greatest strength as a person? NOTHING HAH eh though some people say its my patientce 86. What is your greatest weakness? Guess LOL 87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Everything 88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Whats the inbetween 89. Are you generally organized or messy? Messy 90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. NOTHING AND EVERYTHING 91. Do you like yourself? N O 92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…) killing demons makes me feel like im doing something good 93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? You don't wanna know bub 94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? : ))) 95. If you could choose, how would you want to die? Id like to be poisoned so i can suffer 96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Visit jackson. Make sure deans in good hands and apologize to some people 97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? I dunno id just like to be remembered 98. What three words best describe your personality? Patient sad and lonely 99. What three words would others probably use to describe you? Sweet charming and generous 100. If you could, what advice would you, the writer, give to your character AZZIE YOU BITCH WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE LOVE YOU I SWEAR TO GOD Jackson belongs to @mrhoneystreak Dean belongs to @gumiixu
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ashalaughs · 4 years ago
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An Annotated List of Men’s Tinder Profiles Part 10
I mean, why not? As always, the entries are loosely ranked from mildly confusing to “I’m so sorry to expose you to this but it must be done.”
1. Main hobby is Arm Wrestling.: This is an outstanding main hobby
2. Sucker for a long sleeve shirt with a turtleneck, tucked into jeans: What a hilariously specific look to be into
3. Looking for a back scratcher. Must have you know what they say, scratch a man’s back and he’ll purr like a walrus: Oh yes that saying we are all familiar with
4. Favourite meal: negative reinforcement: Delicious.
5. Just a Beast looking for his Belle: You better have an amazing library
6. Rainbow / Unicorns / Dragons / Cheesecake / Ice cream / Come play: what a wild list
7. Climbed the corporate ladder wayyy to fast. So the only way to go is down.. and I love going down: This is a very laboured double entendre
8. You don’t have to worry about my parents judging you because the past away: Oh boy I was not worried about that, but this is very sad information to include in a profile
9. I got ran over by a truck but lord knows I’m still gonna send it: This raises so many questions
10. Yes, I don’t smile in pictures but neither did Cary Grant: But you, my friend, are not Cary Grant
11. Well if I say something about myself I wont sound any different than all other guys who trying to impress you: Ah, but if you say nothing about yourself you also won’t impress me
12. Looking for a cheeky metal monkey to jump on the water bed with. Or a fiery dragon with whom to roam the earth. No metaphors.: Keep your interspecies desires to yourself, good sir
13. I am very woke, Ive channeled my dead grandfather and experienced astrial projection preferably a woke woman or one who wants to learn xox: What a very interesting definition of woke
14. Swipe right if you don’t think foot massages mean something: This guy must be really good at foot massages I guess
15. Shamanic…being?: Let me know when you figure it out
16. I enjoy being creative…particularly writing. I am currently writing a book called “The World Through a Spinozian Lens: A Rationalist’s Appeal to Emotion.” It is going to be the subject of my Doctoral thesis. I’ve also applied to CBU! I’m going for an undergrad in philosophy and being in the fall.: Maybe this hits too close to home because a dude who claims to be writing his dissertation before he’s started his undergrad is a bigtime nope from me, dawg
17. Person who texts second will pay the bill: PSA: quibbling about who pays for dinner before you’ve even exchanged a message with someone is not a good look
18. 5’9 underweight.. Don’t smoke, don’t drink. Probably be dead ina few years.: There has to be some information missing here
19. Picture above isn’t me, for personal reasons I’m not at liberty to share one: This is a fancy way to say “I’m married”
20. In open relationship or break up looking for friends and see how things go: These are two very different situations though…
21. If you don’t chew Big Red then Fuck you: This one makes me laugh so much
22. Gotta have some nice jordans, nice chain and a nice car…im only missing you: Good to know I’m on par with your very favourite consumer goods
23. My dog told me to put put what snacks we have. He later told me that’s a secret he’d rather keep that a secret between us: This is meant to be cute but comes across a bit unhinged, right?
24. So let’s be honest here, you’re not special and I’m not special either. I mean, fuck, we ended up on tinder…We’re lame, so welcome to lame town.: I almost want to give this guy a hug, but I definitely don’t want to date him
25. I’m literally just here to talk shit I’m too cute for tinder: This can’t possibly be true
26. I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I’m ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and im just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate: The problem with these sorts of “joke” profiles is that they are almost certainly truthful
27. Did you know that Ted Bundy’s first dog a collie was named Lassie?: Ah yes, serial killer facts: the number one way to make women feel safe
28. They say women are not able to pair bond after being banged out by a few partners: This is very ill-conceived strategy for getting women to sleep with you
29. Oh..and I’m not about the whole covid crap either. Never did believe it and never will: You don’t have to believe in it; it believes in you
30. Looking for somebody to go down on me on command. Will return the favour if you’re tidy.: An offer literally everyone can refuse.
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